Archive for July, 2011

Essay: Evaluating The Wonders Of A NBA Amnesty Clause, Part II

Here’s the second part of Shaky Ankles’ look into the league’s worst contracts—team by team. For Part I, click here. Read more…

Categories: Essays

Shook Ankles: The Land Of Make Believe

I believe the otherworldly supernatural activity on True Blood to be be more realistic than the contents of this clip. I know this didn’t happen yesterday, but a Peja blow-by on LeBron James with a Greg Ostertag dunk serving as icing on the play’s cake makes this arguably the most unbelievable move in NBA history. Either that or the floor had a wet spot.


Essay: Evaluating The Wonders Of A NBA Amnesty Clause

July 8, 2011 1 comment

With the irreproachable Lockout upon us, the league’s financial structure for the next decade is completely unknown. Many are giving their best educated guesses as to how things will shake up—hard, soft, or flex cap, player salary reduction, a raise, more balanced revenue sharing, eventual retraction, franchise movement, a mid-level exception, Larry Bird rights, a franchise tag, sign-and-trades—but the most interesting issue, to me, that’s coming down the pipe, is the ever increasing possibility of an Amnesty Clause. What this basically means is that each team would be allowed the opportunity of slicing one contract off their books. That player would still be paid his money, but the contract would no longer count towards the salary cap. It’s a one time only Get Out of Jail Free Card. Love it when those happen in real life.

Like most terrible decisions that can cost your boss millions of dollars, bad contracts in the NBA have been known to ruin some lives. Even with innumerable resources at their feet, and hours upon hours of background research that makes a high earning private investigator look like a retirement home’s Guess Who tournament champion, front offices throughout the NBA continue to hand out colossally bad contracts, and the owners continue to pay them. Whether it be pressure to win now, put fans in the seats, or purposefully bankrupt their employer, some decisions have explainable motivation while others are just complete question marks.

I’ve decided to go through each team, five at a time, and analyze which contract would, in the words of Omar, get got. For the most part, these choices are simple; most came by way of common sense, while others were a bit forced. In real life it’s going to be hard for an owner to pay a player tens of millions of dollars to essentially eat hot dogs all day.

Here are the most (il)logical contracts out there. All figures are courtesy of Hoopshype and Shamsports. Read more…

Categories: Essays

Essay: Breaking Down The Crossover, Part I

A few days ago, Rahat Huq, creator of the True Hoop Network’s Houston Rockets blog, Red94, approached me about my willingness to participate in a one on one discussion regarding the crossover dribble. I, of course, agreed. What follows is the first part of what I fear may be a never ending, life consuming conversation.

Rahat:  The crossover dribble move has long been my favorite “thing” in sports.  From dunks, to touchdowns, to offspeed sliders, there is a lot to be fascinated by in the world of athletic entertainment.  But to me, nothing quite holds the intrigue of the crossover dribble.  There is the obvious aesthetic appeal, yes, but the move represents so much more than that at a social level; it might be the greatest innovation in the game’s history.

When I found your blog I was excited.  So I must ask, what inspired its creation? Read more…

Shook Ankles: Is This The League’s Most Coveted Trade Chip?

July 4, 2011 1 comment

Lockout be damned, it’s July 4th and I yearn for some offseason NBA trade speculation. There’s Monta Ellis, Andre Iguodala, Andrew Bynum, and Andrea Bargnani all seemingly available for the right price, but Josh Smith remains the most intriguing of the bunch. Apart from LeBron James and possibly Blake Griffin, you’d be pressed to find another NBA player possessing more pure raw athleticism in his body. The pogo stick shot blocking ability, the unparalleled ability to instill reassurance in the distributor on any alley-oop attempt he’s involved in, Josh Smith has it all on both ends. What he doesn’t have, however, is self awareness. Read more…

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