Posts Tagged ‘Carlos Boozer’

Power Ranking: The One-Dimensional All-Stars

February 16, 2012 Leave a comment


At the behest of those who enjoy watching beautiful people doing beautiful things, Ben Wallace has announced he will retire at the end of this season. One of the hungriest underdogs to ever play basketball, Wallace hammered himself into a niche with unprecedented brute force, becoming known for much, much more than a scraggly afro.

He was respected, beloved, and, to some degree, feared. Wallace was a rare breed: SO good as a rebounding defensive presence and SO bad as an offensive threat. In his honor, I’ve decided to rank all the modern day one-dimensional players, with Ben Wallace in mind as the Godfather of them all. The league has very few players who’re equally effective on offense as they are on defense, but one doesn’t have to overshadow the other (for example, the 2008 Kevin Garnett tilted the entire league with his defensive intensity—it became apart of his identity as he forced the Celtics to keep up on their way to a championship—but it wasn’t like he struggled on offense); this list highlights 14 guys who excel on one end of the floor while leaving much to be desired on the other. Read more…

Shook Ankles: Amar’e Stoudemire Is Defended By A Floating Beard

February 3, 2012 Leave a comment


In my last post I was a bit harsh on several parties—Von Wafer and the Washington Wizards organization in particular—but it pales in comparison to the embarrassing act of false machismo Carlos Boozer put on display last night in New York City. Defensive statistics can’t possibly capture a sequence as atrocious as this, where a man is in terrible position, choosing neither to foul nor move his feet, presiding as the lone reason his team surrenders two points.

Looking at Carlos Boozer’s numbers and coming to the conclusion that he’s made strides on the defensive end would be like saying Amil could flow because Jay signed her to Roc-A-Fella. Surrounded by tremendous defenders both on the wings and in the front court, Boozer is able to hide within Thibodeau’s system; masquerading as a legitimate presence. It’s fraudulent activity at its finest.

Boozer’s a power forward, so to be fair he isn’t necessarily paid to take on ball handlers from the perimeter in one on one situations. But when you play both sides of the fence, this particular ball handler is taller than him and has been known to log minutes at the center position during his career. In summation, boo to you Boozer. Boo to you.


Essay: The First Round’s All-Disappointment Team

April 29, 2011 Leave a comment

(Photo by Dilip Vishwanat/Getty Images)

In the NBA playoffs, basketball heroes are given brand new birth certificates. It’s a two month period where lives change: Money is earned or lost, reputations are rearranged or firmly etched in stone, and legacies become real, almost tangible things. It’s where games matter. Where rookies like Paul George and Gary Neal can poke their heads through the soil, take a look around, and realize they belong. Where those who thought they were in the league’s mythical Supreme Court of lifetime membership are first humbled, then relegated. In the playoffs, great players don’t always come through with special performances; big shots are missed—or worse, passed up—and perceptions take 180 degree turns on a night to night basis. Here’s a group of guys from the first round who most likely wish they had a redo.

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