Posts Tagged ‘Tony Allen’

Power Ranking: The One-Dimensional All-Stars

February 16, 2012 Leave a comment


At the behest of those who enjoy watching beautiful people doing beautiful things, Ben Wallace has announced he will retire at the end of this season. One of the hungriest underdogs to ever play basketball, Wallace hammered himself into a niche with unprecedented brute force, becoming known for much, much more than a scraggly afro.

He was respected, beloved, and, to some degree, feared. Wallace was a rare breed: SO good as a rebounding defensive presence and SO bad as an offensive threat. In his honor, I’ve decided to rank all the modern day one-dimensional players, with Ben Wallace in mind as the Godfather of them all. The league has very few players who’re equally effective on offense as they are on defense, but one doesn’t have to overshadow the other (for example, the 2008 Kevin Garnett tilted the entire league with his defensive intensity—it became apart of his identity as he forced the Celtics to keep up on their way to a championship—but it wasn’t like he struggled on offense); this list highlights 14 guys who excel on one end of the floor while leaving much to be desired on the other. Read more…

Shook Ankles: Has Tony Allen Always Been This Unselfish?

December 15, 2011 Leave a comment


Okay, so the move is just alright—Westbrook’s fall has more to do with him playing like a coked out hedgehog than TA’s behind the back dribble. Then why was it worth a post? Well, to be frank,  Tony’s decision making process with the ball in his hands, which is more or less regarded as one of the worst in professional basketball history, is shockingly rational here, and what’s better than a basketball player going outside of what we expect from him?

Most, Tony included, would react to Westbrook’s embarrassment by taking it a step further and knocking down a jumper, but after roughly missing 82% of attempted jump shots in his career to that point, he thinks better of this and instead decides to hit a leaping Sam Young for the high percentage alley-oop. If someone told me Tony Allen made Russell Westbrook fall over I wouldn’t accuse you of outright lying to my face, but I’d have to check up on it. If you supplemented the story by saying Allen then displayed tolerance, remained calm, and patiently delivered a nice assist, your word would forever be devalued. Thank God for Youtube.


Shook Ankles: Tony Allen Looks Drunk

February 25, 2011 Leave a comment

Tony Allen. What a solid defender you are used to be. The title of this post was written as a slight joke/tip of the cap towards Deron Williams’ handle, but maybe Tony really did have one too many sips of the sauce after the first quarter.  I wouldn’t put it past him.


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,901 other followers